Read with Me
1 Peter 3:1-6 (HCSB)
In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the Christian message, they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live when they observe your pure, reverent lives. Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes. Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes. For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also beautified themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do what is good and are not frightened by anything alarming.
Listen with Me
These days, passages such as this one bring on cries of sexism from many women. But two things must be remembered. First is that the whole concept of sexism is very modern. And the most recent incarnation, not just a belief that women should not be confined to traditional roles but the belief that there is no difference between men and women at all, being of even more recent vintage.
And the second is the simple biological fact that there are significant differences between men and women – not just the physical differences that are discernible to the naked eye, but physical differences all the way down to the cellular level, as well as significant emotional differences. That is not to say that women are in any way inferior to men as beings (and the Bible doesn’t ever call women inferior). But when God created the first male and female, he made them complimentary: strong in different ways, able to think differently, and even to perceive and respond to the world and the things in it differently.
Those differences result not only in differing strengths, but differing weaknesses as well. And, make no mistake, men have as many intrinsic weaknesses as women do, but those weaknesses tend to be in different areas, and they tend to manifest themselves differently.
As unfair as it is sometimes portrayed to be these days, God recognized that the fall of Adam and Eve forever changed the dynamic between men and women, with there being potential for a continual battle for authority and control between the two, colored by the self-interest that was now part of their fallen nature. Therefore, God instituted roles within the family unit, laying the heavy responsibility of providing for the family and leading them primarily on the man (Genesis 3:16-19). He was from that moment, not only responsible before his family, but responsible before God for how well he carried out those responsibilities.
But in order for the man to be an effective leader and provider requires that his wife respect that responsibility and not work at cross purposes. Hence the command here for the wives to submit to their husband’s authority.
This, however, does not give the husband license to be abusive or controlling. As Peter points out in the next section, and as Paul points out in Ephesians 5:25-33, husbands are to sacrificially love their wives and always do everything with their best interests at heart, following the model of Jesus’ sacrificial love for the Church. And they will ultimately be judged on how well they do that.
That being said, as Peter points out here, a woman has a lot of power in the marriage relationship, if she uses it wisely. As Tevye’s wife explained to their daughter in Fiddler on the Roof, “The man is the head of the household. But the wife is the neck. And the neck can turn the head anyway it wants to.” That is a powerful truth. But that incredible influence that wives have over their husbands should be used wisely, to help them to grow spiritually, and even to find salvation, which benefits the whole family. Keep in mind that even Sarah, who is listed here as a model of proper submission, sometimes used her powerful influence to lead Abraham out of God’s way!
Pray with Me
Father, our ways of seeing the roles of men and women are often clouded by emotion, tradition, and popular culture. But the guidance in Your word is so clear and, unfortunately, not often employed these days, but only criticized. Help us all, Lord, both men and women, to more readily conform to Your patterns and plans for us, so that we be powerful and effective witnesses to the world around us, and so that we can live in Your blessing in every area of our lives. Amen.
Today's Scripture 